Hey Hey Everyone!
I'm writing this late at night while doing some reflecting over everything that has happened over the past year. A year ago, I was in a relationship and in so much denial about my happiness and my emotions. I know I had heard of this happening to other people, but I realized that I was in love with the idea of a relationship and what I saw as my partner's potential, but not with what was actually happening.
You see, in the shadows of everything, I was dealing with a lot of negative emotions. In certain areas, I feel a lot of confidence, but when it comes to romance, I didn't. I kept on choosing guys who didn't choose me first.
And my previous relationship, the guy constantly chose his ex over me. I was stuck being compared to her and he refused to let her out of his life. And I dealt with so many feelings surrounding that. I tried to set boundaries, but those boundaries kept on being broken. I had to choose between keeping my boundaries and losing the relationship or losing the boundaries and keeping the guy.
For a year and a half, I chose to sacrifice my boundaries and it did not make me a better person. The person I became was overly emotional, frustrated, angry and bitter. The fun spark that I love about myself was practically gone. The reason why my ex had fallen for me was gone.
The lessons I learned from that relationship helped me grow into the strong, powerful woman that I am today. I learned that it is so important to keep my boundaries. And when someone in my life pushes those boundaries, it is necessary to stand up for myself. It is okay to let people go who don't feel good to me.
And once I let that past relationship go, I had the space to invite new men into my life. Men that continue to teach me lessons each and everyday. I've learned that the right person for me, it feels easy to be with them. I enjoy spending time with them and also they respect me. They allow me to be who I am, which is a multi-passionate, emotional woman. I am allowed and encouraged to be my natural, beautiful self. I am shown love and appreciation. I am loved for who I am.
As I am writing this post, I am coming to an epiphany. A relationship is meant to feel good to the people in it, and not look a certain way on paper. And I am spending time with a guy with who I feel absolutely amazing with. I feel cared for, I feel a connection and I don't usually feel jealous or icky due to things that he says or does (I have felt it from triggers outside of him. Like memories from the previous relationship). The relationship isn't typical because, hello COVID. But it's mine, and it feels good. That's what matters.
Do you feel good in your relationships? Do you feel good when you are dating? If not, then take a look at what you are doing.
Are you settling for less than what you know you are worth? Are you giving your time and energy to dating practices that don't serve you? Are you spending time with guys who just don't appreciate you?
Take a look at how you are feeling when you are spending time with someone. If you are frustrated, angry, bitter or disappointed most of the time, then take a look at what is going on. You are likely operating out of alignment or maybe the person isn't aligned with you.
I'm studying something AMAZING called Human Design. It is a system that gives you a blueprint of how you operate. I'm learning it so that I can combine this system with all things dating and relationships.
Because, yes, I am still passionate about helping you find the soulmate love you are looking for.
But first you find it within yourself.
And getting to know yourself and how you best operate, that is one way of moving back to loving yourself.
Learning your human design will help you get there.
So, stay tuned for more and to see me showing up in a different and more powerful way.
Love you all,